Friday, November 26, 2010

the rain tastes sweet.
Its raining so loud, that i cant hear my own thoughts.its a long road.i am just walking along..there are street lights on both the sides of the road.but their lights not bright enough.hazed by the rain maybe.the road was dotted with comfortable enough houses with big enough gardens and the rest of things big enough too.people who had enjoyed the rain before had now gone inside their homes, drying themselves with dry towels by the fire.mothers had made supper even though the chimney had leaked.although i had no baggage, my shoulders felt heavy.the legs seemed a little weary too but they had walked long roads before.everything was getting cold slowly, the limbs sending the warmth to the heart.the clothes were soaked and the sneakers which i had worn at the beginning of the journey were now, filled with water, making it difficult to pick up one foot after i walked on, thought about the beginning of the journey when there were friends and acquaintances and then when their was sunshine .they smiled and said “it’s a long road”,their nude optimism showing and somehow they seemed know where i was headed, i had thought it would help thinking about these things but ironically enough,guess i was wrong.the reality looked way harsher now.i had taken some turns along the way,and putting my ego away asked for directions, earlier in the day.but now there was no one on the road, the night had matured.the lights in the houses had shut down and kids had been put into their beds leaving the ashes in the fire place still heating the air around it.i had no watch but the heart beats had replaced the tick tock .i didn’t understand why the path was long, or again why it had rained.but whateva i didn’t understand, i wanted to do.never had i walked thru crushing and cold rain in the wee hours of the had warned me that this rain was not going to easy to walk thru and neither was it gonna be the last.but the determination in my eyes had dismayed her from stopping me.the rain slowed to a drizzle,as if it had also peeked into my eyes, the first light, the rain stopped.the road was drenched.everything seemed clearer.there was still a drop on my eyelids.i wiped my face with my hand.and ordered my mind to stop my legs.the roads end was not far.but there was some one was a girl.she was wearing a white dress.her skin looked pale in comparison .i think it looked brighter coz my eyes were still adjusting to the light.i had almost reached her shoes making noise as the water seeped out with each step.i didn’t dare let our eyes meet and certainly not talk.we waited or maybe i waited.the clock never seemed slower and having no choice, i looked where i knew, passion was cheap.wanted to say a lot,ask a lot,answer a lot, i swear i did.i couldn’t.her lips were,and i kept thinking in my head, trying to choose one word from the millions i had read a billion times before, none came.she smiled and my heart skipped a beat as if it were on a cue.we were 5inches away from our toes.i had calculated before stopping.she moved 2.5 towards my heart.she wanted me to cover my that moment ,my spine lost control of my legs which had obeyed it all night long.but i did manage to drag myself those 2.5 inches.our noses touched before our lips did.never wanting to take another breath, i kissed eyelids opened and the rain poured even harder.but the water which leaked into the sides of mouth tasted sweeter.and the dream started all over again.

go back to sleep

go back to sleep.
My thoughts had settled for the night. As i slipped on a t-shirt, i thought of what i shall have for dinner. Don’t underestimate the choice and certainly not the power of choice. As i locked the maroon metal door of my room, i came to the conclusion that it shall be the cheese sandwich today, coz truthfully, i hadn’t had it in a while.the stairs were dark except the few rays sliiping in from unforseen corners. Keeping my hands along the walls, i reached the end of the tunnel.
The watchman was there, the chair he used to sit on, was broken tonight. But He was already on the job of fixing it, as everyone was trying to fix everything else. He gave me a passing glance drawing the conclusion that i was not a burglar. Not realising that everyone is ,though not officially. As i walked on, there was a couple desperately trying of fix a relationship. I tried to mind my own business and walked on, looking at the ground as if i had just lost the ring which i was gonna propose the girl of my dreams with. As i reached the main street and made my way through the late night shoppers who were on their way home, i realised the shops were already closing. The phone vibrated in my pocket, making me fall from my observation was a friend, Talked about everything that had gone through the day, and what should go on through the next day, week, fortnight , month, eternity,which we had already discussed the earlier day.the brain working in full swing. I reached the sandwich shop while i was describing the part, where i had planned to study but just couldn’t.bhaiya, the guy on the counter was outside giving a beggar a left over sandwich who had declined it, feeling alienated by the situation. The shopkeeper, recognised me from a distance and called out “bhaiya, ek grilled, veg, with extra cheese, laga doon kya?”. And i shouted back in agreement. As i cut the call, even though we could have gone on till 2012 and waited for my sandwich, the beggar started shouting, “oye idhar aa, aaja thane leke chalta hoon tujhe” and sat back again on the porch of the adjacent shop. I looked around, there weren’t too many people out there and certainly no one who was interested in the convo.
As my stare, realising that something was amiss returned back to the beggar, who i wasn’t even sure was a beggar, i realised his eyes were fixed on something in the distance.i wasn’t really freaked out and went inside to pay my bill. Counter guy gave the beggar a glass of water before handing my balance to me. The inside of the shop smelled of cheese with a tinge of i again waited for my sandwich, my attention returned to the seeing unseen people guy. He had minimal hair, he almost made it to the category of bald people. I really couldn’t make out whether he was black or just covered in mud. For clothes he wore a white shirt which was open till the 3 button and trousers which had stains whose origins would never be found. He had slippers too, the heels side of the slipper thinner than the toe, he dragged his feet while walking. “colonel ke baad major bhi dikha dunga main, abe dikha dunga”.bhaiya had not looked directly in my eyes but had also stared in the distance. The guy fought the gravity for his weight and started the unknown journey,to me and i thought to him too, by dragging his feet. 
My sandwich was done, i asked the guy to pack it for me and collecting the packet, i started my journey back, by picking up my feet.
And on my way back, i thought about what the guy had shouted, and try to find out the deeper meaning like the poems of all famous poets. I thought about, what exactly was going on in his head. i thought about whether he had decided where he had to go. I thought about, whether he had had gotten something packed to eat. I thought about, whether he had a friend who he had a talk with, and if he did, what did he talk about, what he had done during the course of the day or what is he gonna do the next day, the next week, the next fortnight, the next month, the next year, maybe till 2012.IF.i thought about, whether someone had ever recognised him or called out to him.i thought whether he had ever entered a shop at closing time or ever for that matter.i thought about, whether he had been in a relationship and tried fixing it for that matter.i thought about whether he had loved someone or proposed her.i thought about whether he had ever had a job. I thought about, which dark tunnels he had walked through and whether they had lights coming from unforeseen places. I thought about whether he had ever locked the door of his house .as i opened the lock on the door, and switched on the light, the thoughts which had settled for the night and woken up, went back to sleep again.